The three dimensions of Christian maturity

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me" (1 Cor 13:11). Paul writes this in the love chapter, between chapters 12 and 14, which deal with spiritual gifts. He had said he would show a more excellent way (1 Cor 12:31). And to teach about love, he talks about maturity.

The chapter ends with three things that remain: faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these is love (1 Cor 13:13). When we see Jesus face to face, faith and hope will be fulfilled. But love will go on forever. There is a deep connection between maturity and love.

1. Child or adult

In Hebrew culture there were none of the stages we have today, like preteen or teenager. You were either a child or an adult. Around age 13, a Jewish boy took on the responsibilities of an adult. Paul is saying: there was a time when I acted like a child, and now I act like a man.

1.1 Christian maturity is not just emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is useful, but the maturity the Bible calls for goes far beyond simply managing emotions. In Psalm 73, Asaph almost stumbled when he saw the prosperity of the wicked. Sometimes the ungodly are polite, prosperous and emotionally balanced, but they are still lost. They need to be born again.

We who have been born again pursue something else: to reach unity in the faith and the stature of Christ (Eph 4:13). This is metanoia, daily transformation. That is why we disciple one another.

The problem is not that an adult sometimes does childish things. The problem is continuing to think like a child and running away from the responsibility of being an adult.

1.2 Thinking like a son or like a slave

Jesus called us to be like children in innocence, not in naivety. Biblically, there are two ways of thinking: like a son or like a slave. The parable of the prodigal son shows this.

Sin brings scarcity into the heart. My daughters have never gone hungry, but they grab the cheese bread from the table in a rush, as if it were about to run out. This scarcity mindset shows up when we think everything is going to collapse because of politics, and also in religion: many people live with more fear of hell than desire to see Jesus.

But we don't depend on politics. Our Father owns everything. The Lord is our shepherd, and we will lack nothing (Ps 23:1). And the slave's way of thinking is the same as the child's.

2. First dimension: speaking (behavior)

Paul speaks of three dimensions: speaking, thinking and reasoning. Speaking is behavior, what everyone sees. The mouth speaks what the heart is full of (Matt 12:34).

A child wants to make their own will clear. When we tell them to apologize, they often go under pressure, head down. That isn't wrong: a child needs to have their behavior corrected and then be taught how to reason. The problem is when an adult stays a child.

An adult wants to make God's will clear through their behavior. James teaches us to say: if it is the Lord's will, we will do this or that (Jas 4:15). Our behavior doesn't come from a rulebook, but from the desire to show the Father's will.

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent (Prov 17:28). The greatest battle of the heart is crucifying the ego: it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me (Gal 2:20). Jesus suffered in silence because that was the Father's will (Isa 53:7, 10).

3. Second dimension: thinking (content)

Thinking is the content that fills your mind. A child thinks about pleasure. Take away their phone and watch the reaction. Give them candy and they become your friend. They are influenced by whatever gives them pleasure.

An adult thinks about purpose. This doesn't mean a Christian can't enjoy pleasure. God is the one who put hunger in you, and he promised Israel a land flowing with milk and honey. But the pleasure God gives is tied to a purpose. In the Bible, a meal was above all fellowship: Abraham served the Lord at his tent, and the disciples on the road to Emmaus recognized Jesus in the breaking of the bread (Luke 24:30-31).

Many times God will take us to places with no pleasure at all, but with a great deal of purpose. Moses, at 80, was living quietly in the desert when the burning bush called him (Exod 3). When we find purpose, we also find satisfaction. Of Jesus it is written that he would see the fruit of his suffering and be satisfied (Isa 53:11).

4. Third dimension: reasoning (way of thinking)

Reasoning is your way of thinking. It isn't a coaching mindset: it is metanoia, the renewing of the mind (Rom 12:2).

A child walks into a room thinking about who is going to serve them. If no one smiles at them at church, they feel rejected. Sometimes God will leave you without a hug to pull you out of that neediness and make you grow.

An adult thinks like Christ: how can I serve? After rising from the dead, Jesus prepared fish and bread on the shore and waited for the disciples (John 21:9). He wasn't thinking about being served.

Notice the order: a child is dealt with from the outside in, from behavior to reasoning. An adult is dealt with from the inside out, from reasoning to behavior. When we only adjust behavior without changing the way we think, we become Pharisees: we behave well, but we still like being served more than serving.

Conclusion

What ripens is the fruit, and the one who eats the fruit is not the tree, it's other people. Maturity is not for your benefit, but for the benefit of those around you.

Maturity is not salary, position, experience or achievements. Maturity is how much you love. The higher Jesus went, the lower he stooped, because he already had the Father's approval. We want to be more spiritual so that we can love more.

In which of the three dimensions, speaking, thinking or reasoning, are you still acting like a child, and who around you is waiting for ripe fruit from your life?